The holidays bring magic, memories… and for many parents, a big question: When is it time to tell my child the truth about Santa?
Parenting expert, therapist, and mom of 12 (yes, 12!) Tanyell Cole says there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. “I always tell parents, there’s no ‘right’ age to have the Santa talk,” she says. “It’s not about a number — it’s about your child’s maturity, curiosity, and readiness. Every child processes magic and reality in their own time.”
As the Co-Founder of Jumpin’ Jellybeans, a boutique indoor play space with locations in Tennessee and Mississippi, Tanyell spends her days helping families create meaningful moments of connection and joy, and through her work as a therapist, she also connects with parents navigating the trickier parts of childhood, like when (and how) to have “The Santa Talk.”
Here are Tanyell’s top tips for handling the Santa Talk with care:
1. Let your child lead.
“Under six is usually too young,” says Tanyell. “Kids that age are still in full make-believe mode — they believe their dad is a superhero and a monster lives under the bed. Imagination is a critical part of development. Jumping in with adult logic too soon can do more harm than good.”
2. Focus on maturity, not age.
“Some 8-year-olds are ready, some 11-year-olds still believe. You know your child best. Don’t feel pressured if your journey looks different from someone else’s,” she says.
3. Keep the conversation natural.
“If you’re letting your child lead, the talk will come up naturally,” says Tanyell. “It shouldn’t feel heavy or sad — we don’t want to ‘kill off’ Santa. Keep it open and light.”
4. Only answer what they ask.
“Sometimes kids ask if Santa is real because they’re confused about one thing — like how he gets in if you don’t have a chimney. You don’t need to throw the whole story away over a chimney,” she laughs. “Answer that question, and see where it goes.”
5. Invite older kids into the magic.
“When my older kids stopped believing, I made them part of the fun. They’d help wrap gifts or set up surprises for their younger siblings. It actually made them appreciate what we did as parents — they saw the work and the love behind it.”
6. Share the real story of St. Nick.
“There really was a Santa — St. Nicholas existed,” she says. “Telling your kids about the history behind him keeps the magic alive while introducing the truth.”
7. Stay open and adaptable.
“Each kid is different. What worked for one might not work for another. When I changed our family’s Christmas traditions, I felt like I was grieving a bit — but it was also a rebirth. It gave my kids space to create their own magic.”
8. Keep talking.
“When you’re having regular, real conversations with your kids about all kinds of things, you rarely have to sit down for a big, dramatic ‘talk.’ The Santa conversation just becomes part of everyday connection.”
For parents near Tennessee or Mississippi, Jumpin’ Jellybeans offers that same sense of play, wonder, and connection — a space built to let kids be kids and parents breathe a little easier. But whether or not families visit in person, Tanyell’s advice applies anywhere: Let the magic evolve, not disappear.
Tanyell is available for interviews, expert commentary, and holiday parenting features on topics including:
- How to navigate “the Santa talk” with different ages
- The emotional and developmental value of make-believe play
- Balancing truth, magic, and connection in modern parenting
- Evolving family traditions as kids grow up